Movie Review- "Valentine's Day"

Trust me, dear readers, I'm as surprised as you that I saw this film, let alone reviewing it for you. Regular readers know that romantic comedies are probably my least favorite genre of film. To be sure, there have been some good ones ("When Harry Met Sally" comes to mind). And I'm sure there are others. It's just that I haven't seen them. But, at least I respect you, dear reader, enough to let you know my biases up front.

This movie stars pretty much half of the population of Hollywood at least in terms of the cast. That's a lot of talent for what I felt was a pretty formulaic film for a genre I don't like. But you already knew that, so let's move on.

The film tells the story of a bunch of people in LA, whose lives interact on Valentine's Day. Ultimately, not every character's life and story interacts with every other one, though most end up doing so, even if the characters themselves are unaware of it. If that sounds confusing, it's actually not. At the center of these multiple plots, is a florist (Ashton Kutcher) and his assistant/driver (George Lopez). I won't bore you with the rest of the storylines because they're all pretty much the same: There's love potential, then there's trouble a-brewin', then finally there's love and understanding, then everyone's happy. To be sure there are some genuinely funny moments and lines in the film. But, overall, I was disappointed. But perhaps I shouldn't have been. I should have expected that.

There were some scenes in the film which had some potential. When there was the possibility that love wouldn't work out for the characters, I was thinking, "Hmmm...this just got interesting." But it didn't.

The film was missing one element: Patrick Swayze. I know he's dead. If he weren't, and felt up to it, they probably would have cast him in it. Here's why: writer and social critic Chuck Klosterman wrote in one of his books (not sure which one) that each of Patrick Swayze's films has at least one scene which is totally implausible. He then makes the case that "Roadhouse" is the perfect Patrick Swayze film, because every scene is implausible/impossible.

And that's my issue with romantic comedies. I realize I'm in the minority here. A lot of people really like romantic comedies. I prefer heavy dramas. I just feel that these types of films are overly optimistic, and give the public a distorted view of love. I believe, they set the bar for actual love experiences so high , that people feel that they're getting ripped off when it doesn't reflect what's on the screen. Are these types of films reflective of love? Hardly ever. But they are reflective of culture, I think. Is life as depressing as the films I enjoy? Not always, but it sure can be, and is probably worse. Pessimistic? Absolutely! But again, dear reader, I am just being honest with you. And that's pretty much the deal: If you don't share my pessimism, you'll probably like this movie.

The "That Guy" factor is incredibly high, due in large part to the size of the cast. Notable cameos include Joe Mantegna, and comedian Larry Miller as the airline employee at the airport.

Acting: A-
Directing: C
That Guy: A
Overall: C*

*See the paragraphs which discuss my distaste for this genre, which I discussed above ad nauseum.